miznabera

I am a dreamer. How about you?
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Does having faith make you a good person? I think having faith only means that, like all of us, you believe in God and that you trust in Him. Praying and preaching won’t do you any good if you act the other way around.

I don’t know why there are so many hypocrites who go to church every Sunday, being judgmental and acting above everybody else - as if God favors them more. Not that I’m saying all people who go to church every Sunday are hypocrites - just some, you know what I mean.

Why don’t you just follow what you repeatedly SAY you believe in??? I especially am disappointed, and frankly offended, in those hypocrites who always involve God in every situation, yet they treat their family like crap and don’t even support them. If you plan on having children - by all means, care for them, provide for them, take responsibility! It must be in the Bible somewhere, it just has to be! I reckon you know the Bible by heart, so why aren’t you doing it?!? What’s the freaking problem?

And also, I’m very confused as to where to find the genuinely good people. Why aren’t you guys at church? Please guys, take over and shoo the hypocrites away, maybe that way, more people would like going to church more often. Besides, isn’t talking to God more meaningful and heartfelt when you feel you’re in a safe place? When you feel connected with Him? When there’s nobody smirking about how your skirt is above the knee? Moral compass re-calibration, anyone? Just me? Okay.

Pretentious creatures lurking around and pretending that they are good little bunnies doesn’t really say “serene place of worship”.

Disclaimer:

Yes, I am Christian/Catholic. Yes, I don’t go to church anymore, because the people scare me, and I feel that people in there are always going to scold me for something. Yes, I pray, and always from the heart and in places I find serene. Yes, I do believe in God, very much so that these people offend my strong belief in Him, and what He stands for.

Oh God. I couldn’t even type Mid Twenties without a flash back of everything that happened in my life. I have done absolutely NOTHING that made a difference in the world, which just crushed my dreams of being a hot rock star/novelist/entrepreneur with her own line of lingerie travelling the globe with her two best friends, buying everything we want because we’re freakin’ rich, but not forgetting the other people by being the most awesome ambassador UN has ever had. *and breath*

I thought the dreaded peer pressure would be over once I got through with college, well, the first college, since I’m taking another shot at it now.

Anyway, it kind of feels like I’m left behind, and to make matters even worst, there are now two categories of happiness that you must fit in to, if you don’t fit in to any category, you’re a sad loser, you’re me.

Family and Career - if you’re really good, you have both by now.

Basically, the Family category started when I noticed that almost every month, someone I know gets married or pregnant. Back then, when we were younger, my reaction to an unplanned pregnancy (which  will then precede marriage due to cultural influences) would be, “What the fuck were they thinking?” and now, all I have to say for it is, “Congratulations! I’m so glad you’re happy.” And I feel so envious of that happiness, I want to kill myself for feeling that way. Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad to still be able to enjoy my life without worrying about babies and a cheating husband, but, how come every time I see a newborn baby’s picture on my news feed in Facebook, I feel left behind? Getting pregnant for me, at the state I’m at right now, is an escape from reality that will come at a great cost - my dreams. Sure, if I decide to get married or get pregnant now, my timeline will be up to date, up to par with the others - but the thing is, I’m gonna have to skip working on my dreams, I won’t have a career and I wouldn’t have had the chance to at least work for it. I would have to give up my dreams as an individual. Still, somewhere at the back of my mind, stands an inarticulate devil whose holding up a huge cardboard sign saying, “Babies. Husband. Everyone else doing it. You now.” Is this, *dun dun dun* peer pressure?

But it’s okay, I know the Family category isn’t quite for me yet anyway. So let’s move on to the next one.

Career - now this one stings like fuck, excuse the language.

You know when you say you’re just enjoying college so much that you don’t wanna leave yet? Yeah, that excuse kinda becomes invalid so fast that even you have to stop believing it sooner or later. I mean, all your friends will graduate eventually, nobody will be left to enjoy college life with. By now, my friends all have successful careers, some have already traveled the world, and me? I’m stuck. I did another degree, and wasted the last one because I didn’t wanna be a freakin’ nurse. Still don’t want to, FYI.

Though I confess, I really did get in my own way; I could’ve learned to love what I was studying before, but I was just too stubborn. Yes Mom, I now accept the fact that it wasn’t all your fault for forcing me in to it, and that I am the one to blame in my past failures at school. Even though you’re in heaven now, I can still sense that you’re doing a victory dance there. Yes I declare defeat, so stop dancing already.

Anyway, since almost everyone is earning moolah for themselves already, and buying cars and houses - I feel yet again, left behind. Somehow, I just want to get this second college over with and start earning heaps of money already, so that I can be in tune with my own time line again, you know?

But I guess moping around and complaining that I haven’t done anything yet won’t make me a better person. I’m sure everyone has their own “pace”, their own goals, and own priorities in life, and it’s okay that I’m taking my time, because right now, I’m doing something to turn things around. It might take 2 and a half more years, but I’ll get there. I’m sure that sooner or later, I’ll catch up with my friends, not because I felt pressured or anything, but because I’m ready.

I finally got my first Violet Box! For those of you who don’t know, Violet Box is one of the many beauty boxes here in Australia which includes 5-6 beauty items (even includes full size ones) for $22.95 a month, don’t have to go any further than that, you can check it out yourselves! http://www.violetbox.com.au/

Honestly, I felt like a kid opening one huge box full of presents and goodies. BEST. FEELING. EVER.

THE BOX

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So, that’s the packaging, the items inside and what-not.

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FAVORITE ITEMJelly Pong Pong 2-in-1 Eyeliner & Shadow

Not so sure if this is a full sized product, but it sure seemed like it.

Tip: Draw a line on your upper eyelid then smudge away to get those lustrous eyes. You can opt to add darker colors in your crease to add depth, but I say, less is more. Sport with a black or dark brown liner, and add mascara. Simple, rock star, chic.

OTHER ITEMS INCLUDED:

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DrBragi Age Management Moisturiser

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GHD Style Heat Protect Spray

Full sized product ♥♥♥

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Jelly Pong Pong Lip Blush

Sorry! This is actually red, the picture doesn’t do it justice.

I only dabbed a little on my lips, to achieve a kinda natural stain - I’m not a big fan of red, but if you are, go nuts!

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Least favorite: Goldwell Dualsenses Shampoo and Conditioner

I didn’t really like this being included in my box, because: 1. Obviously, it’s a sample, it’s supposed to be free; 2. Shampoos and conditioners aren’t really my thing. I don’t have a habit of switching brands because my hair doesn’t approve - it dries and breaks and everything that can go wrong, does.

Thoughts to make it better: Put it in a bottle or something, to make it less suckier.

Conclusion:

The delivery of the box was okay as well, placed an item last week, got it today - but I suppose that was just timing, since they ship boxes mid-month. Although, I did have a problem placing my order, since I did it early August, when I realized it was still pending around the 20th, I re-ordered and got stuck with 2 orders of boxes for August. The Violet Box Team responded quickly and accordingly, which was a huge plus for me.

Overall it was great, except for the shampoo and conditioner, which felt like a rip-off. $22.95 well spent!

Did you get one also? What did you think of the box?

So far good.

How can I describe my first week in Melbourne? I can’t really say, an array of emotions gravely overwhelmed me that I don’t know which emotion to feel first.

For all ya’ll who haven’t been down under, here are my first impressions:


Getting around Melbourne is kinda easy, it’s just that I’m not too good with directions and familiarizing places – so I like to consider myself as an explorer rather than a lost little puppy.

Walking was never really my strongest point, so it was a challenge. I never realized how lazy I was in the PH until I got here. No convenience of hailing a cab or a jeepney or a tricycle from anywhere on the street. :(

The price range of ALL things is ridiculously high from what I was used to back in the PH. But, I haven’t really tried working here yet, so I don’t actually know what I’m talking about. I’m just converting money which is a BIG NO-NO. Lalala. Also, I don’t know where the dollar stores are, I found Big W, but aren’t there stores that sell cheaper stuffs? Can anybody tell me?

Up ‘til now, I haven’t really considered having a credit card as a necessity. But the way I’m seeing things being paid for here, cash really is just an option.

The accent takes only a day or two to getting used to. I thought language was gonna be a barrier for me, but nah, you just have to have the guts to say, “sorry?” and then let it sink in.

Yes it was winter when I arrived. So my body came to an actual shock in terms with the temperature. I literally lost the feeling in my hands in the middle of the day. Mental note: GET GLOVES. HEATER = BEST FRIEND. HAIR DRIER = SECOND BEST FRIEND.

The school is GORGEOUS!! I’m literally in love with it - LITERALLY. The library is fantastic, not really filled with books, but filled with computers! Well, from what I saw, I never really went down the stairs, I’m sure the books are there – I was so happy to get free computer and internet access LOL. And not to mention Wi-Fi is everywhere, I mean everywhere. Oh! And the professors are great! Bye terror-profs, hello great admirable ones! I just wanna dive in and learn all the things they want me to learn!! This is soooo heaven for me. #geek

The city of course, is beautiful. Love at first sight. Everything is clean - the roads, the sidewalk, the rooms, the air. Everyone is nice. Even the birds are nice, I guess, well, not until they chase me, or poop on me.

Melbourne is wonderful, it really is, I’m so lucky that my dad went above and beyond his capacities to send me to school here. But the thing is - I do miss home, a lot. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my friends, and I miss my family. Even though everything is super great here, nothing beats the comfort of knowing that everyone you love is just around the corner. Home is still going to be home.

There’s this heavy feeling I’m having - just beneath my throat and right in the smack dab center of my chest. Pulling… banging… choking me.

It’s like tons of weights are pulling my whole being down. Homesick. I haven’t even left yet…

YET.

Countdown starts.

Moments like these are the moments in life that determine if we make it or break it.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime - and I chose to grab that opportunity. Now here it is!

But still, there’s this little heavy feeling inside.

Maybe it’ll go away.

Oh God. Please give me courage, courage to leave all the things I know and courage to embrace everything new to me.

God give me wisdom - to make wise decisions when I cannot consult anyone else but myself.

God give me strength, enough strength to make it through every day of being away from all the people I know and love.

I am brave. I am wise. And most of all, I am strong. I am claiming it.

It will be fun, Australia. You’re no Philippines, but I’ll definitely make the most out of every experience.

I know it’s kinda been long overdue, and yes, I know I’ve tried this before and failed horribly. Diet and exercise, why you so hard? I just feel determined now and I have Jerome by my side to help me, rather, get into shape with me. By force.

Although my place of residence is a bit uncertain at this point in time, I vow will try to continue eating healthy and try to move around every now and then. I guess. I think. I WILL.

On that note, we are now on our second day of the no-rice-kill-me-now diet. Horraaaay! Eating more veggies and fibers now, I guess we can view this as a cleansing routine rather than dieting, to make things sound more acceptable and not so horrifying. Go, us!

Current weight: horrifying. Hardest fact to face and announce.
Weight lost: NONE YET. WAIT FOR IT.
Exercise: does doing the laundry count? HOHOHO.

Will also be doing a lil sumthin sumthin just in case I don’t get to stay in the PH ‘til Feb. Hope Jerome will like it. :)

longoland:

Monster Skin Rug : Industrial Gray by Joshua Ben Longo

Come away with me.

I KNEW IT! Good thing I haven’t switched out my Lumia 900 to a 920 yet - because here comes baby brother number 3!

The Nokia Lumia 1020.

Nokia Lumia 1020

Photo from http:conversations.nokia.com

This little bad boy boasts its outstanding camera thingies. The hardware, the software -  heck, it’s like buying a phone with a built in modern digicam. With the Lumia 1020’s new camera interface, you can adjust the ISO, the shutter speed, the works - basically, it’s the best camera phone to date, it’s their slogan too. If you wanna read more into the specs go here http://conversations.nokia.com/2013/07/12/10-reasons-to-get-excited-about-the-nokia-lumia-1020/ .

It’s built in editing software though is still kind of mediocre, but I’m really hoping that some developers will look into that.

With a great camera like that, I’m also hoping that they finally introduce the official Instagram app in Windows phones. You can’t really kill it with photos if you can’t share ‘em with the widest known photo-sharing platform in the planet. Facebook and Twitter isn’t that bad - but we wants the Instagram in Windows phones!! *tugs Windows devs hearts*

Well that’s the only thing that’s new with the Lumia bunch - it still has it’s great features like Windows 8 software, maps, music, wireless charging, etc. Basically the Lumia 1020 is the Lumia 920 with a huge camera upgrade.

I haven’t heard news that it’s released anywhere right now - only first hands on and stuff.

Definitely, definitely will beg to have one. PLEASE DON’T RELEASE ANOTHER LUMIA JUST YET. NOKIA PLEASE.

*no, my father didn’t ask me to write this. He just kinda wants me to advertise it somehow.*

Saturday morning good vibes.

"Inuman Sessions Vol. 2" Full Concert - Parokya Ni Edgar (by Inuman Sessions)